Xanxus's Birthday Celebration
by Ittoki Otoya
Summary: Weird Birthday fic for Xanxus. Pairings are XS and B26. Consists of Levi abuse. Might be boring and OOC. I wrote it when I was half-asleep so I don't think it's done well.


Xanxus scowled as he woke up after hearing yells of the trashes arguing with each other. Xanxus was very grumpy as he was waken up and he was going to beat the first person he saw when he stepped out of the room. Throwing on a random shirt and pants, he stepped out of his room. The first person he saw happened to be a low-ranked officer that happened to be passing back and he was thrown down the stairs, alerting the others that Xanxus was on his way down and awake.

"VOI! What are you doing up so early, Boss?" asked Squalo who was walking up the stairs with Lussuria and Levi behind him.

"You trashes woke me up!"

Xanxus scowled and glared at them. "Sorry Boss." answered Levi as he was on his knees and begging for forgiveness.

Squalo rolled his eyes at Levi and moved to push Xanxus back upstairs. "What the fuck are you doing, trash?"

Xanxus glared at Squalo as he waited for Squalo to answer. But Lussuria was the one who answered instead. "Bossu~! Just stay upstairs, it currently is chaotic down there and it is hard to walk~. We will call you down when it is cleaned up~. You just stay in your room with Levi and Squa-chan will bring you meat and wine while you wait~. Or you could go back to sleep~."

Xanxus turned to glare at Lussuria which caused Lussuria to flinch. "Bossu, why are you glaring at me~?"

"I do not want that trash in my room. Just bring me meat and wine to my room."

Xanxus walked back to his room after he finished what he wanted to say and slammed his door shut.

"Boss..." whimpered Levi who was upset that he was unable to stay in Xanxus's room with him.

Lussuria sighed. He was hoping that Levi would be able to stay in Xanxus's room to make sure that he would not go downstairs since Levi was no help at all.

Squalo scowled and kicked Levi for being useless and now they had no way to make sure that Xanxus would not go down before they finished decorating and preparing.

Walking down, Squalo scowled again when he saw Bel sitting on the couch and making out with Fran. "VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! You two were suppose to be preparing the meat instead of shoving tongues into each other's throats."

Fran pushed Bel away from him and panted. "The stupid fake prince senpai forcefully shoved his tongue into my mouth. I tried to stop him but he would not listen and biting his tongue seems to just turn him on even more. By the way, stupid fake prince senpai and I already finished our dishes for Xanxus and gathering up all the presents as well and placed them all on the bronze coloured wood table."

"Uishishishi." was the only thing out of Bel's mouth and he threw a knife at Squalo for disturbing his time with his frog.

Squalo dodged the knife which ended up stabbing Levi who was still moping and he continued moping without noticing the knife and no one bothered about him.

"Voi! Bel, what are you trying to do?"

"Uishishishi. That's for disturbing the Prince's time with his frog. And Froggy, the Prince isn't fake or stupid. The Prince is a genius~!"

Squalo shook his head and went to the kitchen to get the meat and wine to keep Xanxus satisfied and hopefully keeping him upstairs without coming down before they were ready.

Lussuria giggled and went back to the kitchen to cook after putting on his pink lacy apron. No one looked at Lussuria, they did not want to disgust themselves with the sight of Lussuria with his pink lacy apron if they could help it.

Getting the plates of assorted meat, most of them being steak and a few bottles of wine , Squalo climbed up the stairs and kicked Levi as he walked past him. "Voi! If you want to mope, go mope upstairs and sit near the stairs. Stop the boss if he wants to go down."

Levi looked up and stared at the things in Squalo's hands with a sparkle in his eyes and ended up being kicked by Squalo again.

"Voi! I'm not giving you the meat and the wine to bring to Xanxus. He would blame me if you enter his room and I do not want to spend hours trying to get rid of the wine in my hair. It's not as easy as you think to remove the red stains and the smell away from my hair you know."

Squalo ignored Levi and walked towards Xanxus's room. Instead of knocking on the door, Squalo kicked it a few things. "Took you long enough trash."

Xanxus moved out of the door to allow Squalo to enter. Squalo entered the room and placed the food and wine on the table next to Xanxus's bed silently. He was about to leave when he felt a tug on his hair.

Squalo hissed and tried to get Xanxus to let go of his hair. "Voi! What do you think you are doing?"

"Who said you could leave trash?"

Xanxus tugged Squalo closer and placed his arms around the swordman's waist.

"Voi! Let go ,Xanxus! I have things to do, if I'm not downstairs, who knows what kind of mess they would make."

Squalo struggled against the strong hands around his waist that refused to let go. Xanxus growled and his hands tightened. "Are you trying to say that those trashes are more important than me?"

"No. Stop being unreasonable, Xanxus! You know very well that they could create chaos when they are all together without anyone telling what to do or stopping their stupid fights or quarrels."

Xanxus scowled and pushed Squalo away. "Get lost then trash. Don't come in till I ask for you."

Squalo turned around before walking out of the room. "Stay here till we are done. And no, I'm not ordering you. This is something that I'm asking you to do and don't leave on purpose."

"Why would I want to clean up with trashes any way when I can eat and drink in peace. If any of the trashes make any noise, I'm coming after you."

Squalo nodded without turning around to face Xanxus and closed the door. Squalo kicked Levi who followed his suggestion and was sitting near Xanxus's door. "Try not to sit so near Xanxus's room. "

When he made his way down, he scowled as he saw Bel making out with Fran again. "Voi! Can't you two help with the decorating instead of attacking each other's mouths?"

Bel pulled apart of Fran with a thin strand of saliva that was connecting to their mouths before it broke by him speaking. "Uishishishi. Why should the Prince do that when there are peasants to do that for the Prince. The Prince was already nice enough to cook a dish for Boss and placing Boss's presents on the table. The Prince is not going to do any more peasant work and is going to play with his frog."

"Stupid fake Prince senpai, who are you calling your frog? And stupid long haired commander, how am I suppose to help decorate with the stupid fake Prince senpai sitting on my lap and refusing to get off and stop kissing me. Besides, Lussuria is already decorating with the rest of the members with his pink hearts and stuff that I find disgusting and he tried to make me wear a pink maid outfit covered with hearts." complained Fran in his usual monotone voice and an emotionless face.

"Voi! Pink hearts...?" asked Squalo as he dashed to look for Lussuria and cutting away some of the pink hearts he saw hanging around the wall.

"Uishishishi. The Prince isn't fake. The Prince is a genius and the Prince's frog is you, of course , silly little uncute kohai."

Fran found himself glomped by Bel and sighed. "Bel-senpai. We are never going to be ready for Boss's party if you keep preventing me from helping and you just sitting there."

"Uishishishi. The Prince has no interest to do any more peasant work and let the peasants do it. But the Prince will be nice enough to cut all the hearts away and replace them with blood. "

"VOI! NO WAY BEL!" yelled Squalo who was dragging Lussuria who was wearing a pink dress with wings and a pink thong...

"My eyes!" yelled Bel and Fran as they turned away from Lussuria.

"How mean! I think I look good in a thong." Lussuria pouted and tried to get Bel and Fran to turn around.

"Voi! Lussuria, change out of that dress and thong at once. Boss would be disgusted and end up burning and destroying all the things we have been working on. No more hearts as well. Bel and Fran, put up the banner and the steamers."

"Squa-chan, you're mean."

Lussuria ran away with tears in his eyes that no one cared or bothered.

"Hai. Stupid long haired commander." answered Fran and he dragged Bel with him to get the banner and steamers.

Squalo sighed. None of them actually did something right without him yelling at them. He went back to removing all the red hearts and throwing them in a bin. The only right thing they did was their special meat dish that each of them prepared for Xanxus along with their presents.

Back to Xanxus, who had fallen asleep after complaining about the meat, drinking the wine and eating the meat he found good enough. He was aware that Levi was outside staring at him and he threw one of the plates of the meat that he was displaced at him.

"Close the door and get the fuck away from my door, trash!"

Levi whimpered and nodded his head as he shut the door feeling dejected again. He thought that he could spy on his precious, beloved boss but was denied of the chance.

"Done. Yay." said Fran sarcastically as he pushed Bel away to face Squalo.

"Finally. I think we are at last done." sighed Squalo as he glanced around the room. It took a lot of effort for Lussuria to stop adding hearts and not wearing a dress or thong, regardless of the colour and stopping Bel from jumping on Fran every time he asked them to do something. He had to dodge knifes, ignore sarcastic remarks from Fran and the complains from Lussuria without gagging at Lussuria who was pouting and shaking his hips as he complained.

"I still think it looked better with red hearts. Bossu, could feel all our love for him through those hearts.~" exclaimed Lussuria who still had not given up on decorating the room with red hearts. After much convincing and threats, Lussuria was wearing a bright pink ruffled dress shirt with red hearts all over it with the few three buttons unbuttoned, a sparkling lighter shade of pink fur around his shoulders , a heart-shaped pink sapphire necklace , a pale pink tight leather pants with a pink belt that was a shade darker than the pants with a heart-shaped buckle , a chain with small pink and red hearts hanging around his waist and pink dress shoes.

Of course, Squalo , Bel and Fran were still disgusted that Lussuria was dressed in pink and had hearts all over him, but it was either that or the dress and a thong.

"Voi! Go change your clothes and I will get Xanxus down after that. Lussuria, go and checked if we missed out on something."

After that, everyone went to change except for Lussuria. Fran changed much faster than the other two and sat on the couch waiting for the other two to finish changing. Fran was dressed casually since he felt that there was no point dressing formally. He was wearing a long sleeved pale green collared shirt and a short sleeved jacket that was the colour of his hair with a small crown picture on the bottom on the right hand side , black pants without a belt , a dark green armlet on his left hand , black sneakers and a small frog clip on the right side of his hair. Fran had no choice but to use the frog clip as that was the only way Bel would agree to him not wearing his frog hat which Fran was grateful for.

Squalo was the next to finish dressing and he was dressed in a plain white dress shirt with the top two buttons unbuttoned accompanied by a black leather jacket, black leather pants with a grey belt with a metal shark buckle and grey dress shoes. He had several white chains hanging around his neck and his wrists. Squalo nodded his head at Fran and settled down on a chair waiting for Bel to come down before going to get Xanxus down.

After ten minutes, Bel finally came down. "Voi! What took you so long?"

"Uishishishi. The Prince had to make sure that his clothes are perfect and the Prince had many nice clothes that he had no idea what to choose from and the Prince couldn't help admiring himself after seeing his handsome self in the mirror."

Squalo groaned and shook his head while Bel sat down next to Fran. "Bel-senpai. How narcissist can you get?"

"Uishishishi. The uncute kohai is just jealous of the Prince's good looks and excellent taste in clothes."

Fran looked at Bel's choice of clothes which was a black long sleeved collared shirt with a big crown picture and the word 'Prince' on the right breast pocket which was also with the top two buttons unbuttoned, golden tiara-shaped cufflinks, various necklaces , his usual tiara or customed made crown , black leather pants, a blood-red striped belt with a black crown buckle and black and red leather shoes.

"Bel-senpai, I'm surprised that you're not wearing any stripes. Seeing that you're crazy about them and I'm not surprised to see most of your clothes with a tiara on them."

"Uishishishi. Froggy, are you insulting the Prince's clothes and stripes? The Prince likes stripes and of course the Prince's clothes has a CROWN on it seeing that the Prince is a Prince. And the Prince have noticed that Froggy is wearing the jacket the Prince gave him. "

"That's just because it was the first thing I saw in my cupboard, seeing that you placed it outside of the cupboard and I was lazy to find something else."

"Uishishishi. Froggy shouldn't be shy and just thank the Prince for giving the Frog something."

"Thank you for the jacket. Happy now, stupid fake Prince senpai?"

"Uishishishi. You're welcome Froggy and the Prince isn't fake. Do you want the Prince to make you wear your hat back?"

Fran shook his head and kept his mouth shut. "Uishishishi. The Prince thought so."

Getting sick of hearing them talk, Squalo stood up just as Lussuria entered. "Squa-chan, everything is in perfect condition~. Oooh! Fran-chan, Bel-chan , the two of you look so cute~! Can Lussuria Nee-san hug the both of you?"

The both of them shook their heads and Lussuria pouted again. Squalo walked towards the stairs. "I'm going to get Xanxus down. Bel, you better not be attacking Fran again when I get down. And I mean it in anyway, whether it's knifes or sexually."

Bel pouted and settled by placing his head on Fran's head with Lussuria cooing that they look really cute and taking a photo of them.

Once Squalo finished climbing the stairs, he was reminded that he forgot to inform Levi to change or anything else. He shrugged as he walked past Levi, telling him to go down but Levi shook his head and followed him to Xanxus's room.

Squalo knocked on the door and stepped out of the way. As the door opened, a flying glass flew outside hitting Levi who was not smart enough to step out of the way. Squalo, being used to Xanxus throwing things , knew that it was better to keep out of the door's way.

Squalo, pushed the currently bleeding Levi aside and walked into Xanxus's room. "You can come down now, boss."

Levi wiped the blood off his left hand and stepped into Xanxus's room and was greeted with an empty bottle of wine thrown at his head by Xanxus who was dressed in his usual clothes. "Who said you could come in, trash?"

"But, Boss. You let Squalo come in." whimpered Levi who looked pathetic to Xanxus and Squalo.

Xanxus glared at Levi. "Trash, you and him are different people and do you have anything against me not allowing you into my room."

Squalo sighed and pushed Levi out of the room. "Let's just go down and stop with the pointless argument."

Xanxus growled and pushed Squalo and Levi out of the way and walked towards the stairs.

" Happy Birthday Boss! " sung the people who were waiting patiently downstairs for the star to finally come down.

Xanxus was dragged by Lussuria to the dining table. "Bossu, we decorated the place and prepared the food, wine and you have all those lovely presenrs. We're starting with Levi's dish and his present."

Xanxus looked at Lussuria with disgust. "What the hell are you wearing?"

"Bossu. I knew the pink dress and thong was better but Squa-chan, Bel-chan and Fran-chan refused to let me wear it and threatened me."

Xanxus looked away from Lussuria and kept silent. The thought of Lussuria in a dress and thong disgusted him.

"At least you didn't see him wearing that. It was sickening." pointed out Fran, using his monotone voice like usual.

Xanxus was silently grateful for not witnessing it and he pitied them slightly, not that he would say it out.

Levi placed a dish on the table with his poorly wrapped present. Xanxus stared at the dish which was black due to the weird sauces that Levi claimed was a family recipe. Xanxus cut out a piece and shoved it into Lussuria's mouth as Lussuria was the one nearest to him besides Levi.

Seeing that Lussuria was still standing and seemed to look perfectly fine, Xanxus took another fork after leaving the previous one in Lussuria's mouth and placed a really small piece into his mouth.

The meat wasn't as bad as he thought it was. "Not really very good but I suppose I could eat it, trash."

Levi was delighted and he pushed his present closer to Xanxus. Xanxus glared at Levi for disturbing his meal but opened the present regardless. It was a package of various small bottles of different kinds of alcohol.

Xanxus did not say anything and just opened one of the bottles to drink. After he finished eating, Lussuria replaced it with his dish and present. "Bossu~! Try mine next~!"

Looking at the dish, it was a heart-shaped steak that Xanxus was slightly bothered by the shape but steak is steak and it looked pretty good. Thus, Xanxus ate it without saying anything.

Once Xanxus finished eating, Lussuria squealed and made Xanxus opened the present. All eyes were on the present, which was a skimpy grey and white maid dress with many laces and various accessories that came with it.

"Bossu~! I hope you liked my present and why don't you make someone wear this~?" squealed Lussuria.

"Boss, I will be willing to put that on if you want to. I'm willing to offer my body for you." volunteered Levi who had a red ribbon tied on his wrist.

Xanxus, Squalo, Bel and Fran were all disgusted by that speech and the thought of him wearing that dress made them sick.

"You really are sick, perverted old thunder man." said Fran with disgust.

"Damn you, Fran!"

"Trash. That's disgusting." Xanxus threw the now empty bottle at Levi and dumped the clothes at Squalo.

"Boss..." whimpered Levi yet again.

"Voi! What the fuck? I'm not wearing it. Make Bel or Fran wear it."

"Uishishishi. No. There's no way the Prince is going to wear that."

"I'm not interested either, stupid loud hair commander."

"Trash. Just go put it on."

"Voi! Lussuria, I will get you for this." growled Squalo as he went to change.

"Uishishishi. While the shark peasant is changing. The Prince would present his dish and present." Bel placed his dish

"Tch. Even though I was the one who cooked that because a certain fake Prince senpai doesn't know how to cook." complained Fran.

"Uishishishi. That's because a Prince has servants to help him to cook. Why would a Prince cook when his servants would do it for him."

Xanxus ignored them and just ate the fillet migmon. "Uishishishi. Here's your present, Boss! It's a new car and now it's Froggy's turn!"

Fran rolled his eyes as he placed his dish and present on the table. "By the way, what's taking the stupid long haired commander so long?"

"One of you trashes go and check on him." said Xanxus as he ate a bite of his food and stared at the wrapped box-shaped present.

"Trash... what's your present?"

"Yay. My present is the only present that you're unwilling to open. " cheered Fran sarcastically.

"Trash, just tell me what it is."

"Fine. It's a pair of black leather boots like the ones that pirates wear."

"Not bad." Xanxus opened the present at looked at the boots.

"Sorry to keep you waiting~! Squa-chan is ready~!"

"Voi! Let go of me, Lussuria. And what's with all the stupid ribbons."

All eyes were on Squalo who was wearing the maid dress with the choker and the other things that came with it.

"Voi! Why is everyone staring at me?"

"Squalo-taichou, you look like a woman."

"Ahahahaha. It suits you trash."

"Voi! Shut the fuck up."

"By the way, it's your turn with the dish and present, Squalo-taichou."

A grumbling Squalo brought his dish and present to the table.

"Ahahahaha. Served by a maid. Maid, feed me."

"Voi! What the fuck?"

"Just do it, trash!"

"Voi! Fine."

A very unhappy and pissed off Squalo fed the smirking Xanxus with the Japanese sirloin he prepared.

"I rather eat a shark." Xanxus tugged the ribbons on Squalo and forced him to sit on his lap.

Squalo growled and tried to get off but gave up after Xanxus refused to let him go. "Voi! Just open your present and get this over with. I want to change out of this stupid dress and kill Lussuria."

"I think you should wear it more often. It really suits you."

"Voi! Fuck you Xanxus!"

"Don't you mean 'Fuck me Xanxus' ?"

"Voi! That was not what I meant!"

"Oh sure, trash."

"Voi! Xanxus, open your present and let me go!"

"I'm opening the present but I'm not letting you go. I kind of like your position and clothes."

"Boss..." whimpered Levi dejectedly but was ignored completely.

"Uishishishi. Froggy should wear that too for the Prince's birthday."

"No way fake Prince senpai."

"Uishishishi. The Prince isn't fake and Froggy must be punished for making fun of the Prince. Have fun Boss, I'll be busy punishing Froggy." Bel dragged a struggling Fran with him away.

Xanxus opened the present and found two bottles of red wine. "Good stuff."

"Voi! Can you let me go then?"

"No."

"Voi! Boss, let me go already."

"No. You're obviously a present too since you have so many ribbons on you."

"Voi! What the fuck?"

"Party's over. I would like to enjoy my present now."

Xanxus stood up and dragged a yelling and struggling Squalo with him back to his room.

"Voi! Xanxus, I'm not a present!"

"Too bad, trash. It's my birthday, what I say count."

Needless to say that what Xanxus said counted and Squalo was grumbling as he limped the next day along with Fran who was throughly 'punished'.

[[ For some reason, the more I write, the more I have no idea what I'm writing. I don't even know what I'm writing any more so I won't be surprised if no one understood anything. Yeah, I'm a messed up writer who fails in writing. =X ]]


End file.
